• matt on SkypeMe Eve

  You know, I haven't really given much thought too what it would be like for a woman in skypeme mode, but for myself I put it on when I just want to talk to someone and all my friends are busy. I don't often think of speaking with someone intimately that I don't know in real life, so the idea of meeting someone on skype, or anywhere else on the internet on intimate terms is kind of disconcerting to me, but what I have been thinking about is that the internet has slowly been taking the place of other social avenues.

  At one point in time, people looking to find 'true love' as well as people looking to find 'a quick lay' would converge in physical establishments such as bars and clubs, and by being there it was like they were announcing themselves to be open to society (that is to talking with strangers). In such situations the people there would have to gauge what others were after by various signs that the person would make, as an example, if there was a woman sitting in a booth alone quietly, I would assume she wanted to remain that way, however if she were at the bar, I would assume she would be open to company at the bar.

  What the internet has done, or so it seems, is to create a new avenue, where individuals have more open and apparent signs about what they are seeking, but at the same time, it has made this internet society be more fake, that is, the internet society can put up false faces very easily and become the person that they want to on that particular day. This means there is a vast separation between 'IRL' and 'IRC' so to speak. People online think less about what sort of person they appear to be, because tomorrow, they can be someone else and no one will know the difference. Perhaps when a woman puts herself in skypeme mode, men viewing that figure they can be completely rude, and have no fear, because even if she doesn't much like it, they can be someone else tomorrow. This is unfortunately a dim outlook for women, but also dim for men, because if society has allowed men to get too the point that they can have those attitudes then where else will society go?

  Sorry for the long drawn out comment, but I read your article and gave it quite a bit of thought, something as I stated before that I haven't much done. I am fairly new too the internet, and yet I have already seen some rather crazy things online. I don't know if the internet is where I will choose to find society, and yet with my experiences chatting with people in skypeme mode, I have found many women that I enjoyed conversations with, and few men. Most men I try skyping are either all about the latest videogame, or only in SkypeMe because they are hoping for women to skype them for the reasons which you mentioned above. It seems most women I try skyping are rather nervous that I will simply want to talk about sex or other intimate things, so as far as I can tell this is a real problem.

  Perhaps one solution would be a skype rating system, something where you can post a review of someone whom you have had a skype conversation with. A place to mention who is looking for a relaxing conversation and who is looking for phone sex.

• entertec on SkypeMe Eve

  I don't use skype that often, but it makes me sad to realise that communication over the world seems to get so difficult. Normally I have no time or are not in the mood to sit down and talk to strangers, but sometimes I like to get in contact with other people I don't know.
  I think, you are right to ask for a reason for the authentication request. If someone don't give, you can deny.
  Best wishes from germany,
  Marco

• jyden on SkypeMe Eve

  SkypeMe debate in forum:
  http://forum.skype.com/viewtopic.php?p=142698#142698

  8-)

• dina mehta on SkypeMe Eve

  Am re-posting a discussion at my personal blog when i cross-posted this article there.

  As a man I cant stand being called by people that I do not know - any more than I don't want to get phone calls anyway. I only respond to people on my list - why should a stranger call anyway?
  Rob Paterson • 7/5/05; 5:03:00 AM #

  Yeah very true. Not everytime I like some stranger getting very close to me.
  Thejesh GN • 7/5/05; 5:40:54 AM #

  Hi Dina, While nobody would like to get disturbed while working, while you online, part of the idea is to meet new people, as you put it. In my case, not so many requests came in while on skype, a few did, one of them actually a mistake.. It has happend more than a few times on icq. The Auth. request profile shows a female but most of the other details are junk. and if you try to query for more info, just a blank. But unless we keep ourselves open, the chance to meet is reduced to almost a zero. Some filtration at some level..
  Raj • 7/5/05; 8:07:25 AM #

  I guess Skype (never used it myself!) is going thorugh the early version of IRC, the wonder of instantly being able to connect to worldwide strangers and therefore comes the drawbacks of being in a public forum with name/age/sex/location questions...ultimately I think skype and other VoIP providers like Vonage will move to the IM of today...people will stop listing them on publicly accessible places like webpages/blogs and software will emerge to have a more useful filteration process Gautam
  Gautam • 7/5/05; 9:53:46 AM #

  u know its interesting that u say most of the men u 'pinged' you were from china / Africa. I wonder if this has any sociological significance.. ie these are societies that are more repressed sexually....
  nancy • 7/6/05; 7:10:37 AM #

  Rob - good question - but they do :) I really do want some layers of filteration for profiles Raj - hope i'm not forced to do what Gautam says might happen where i will have to stop listing my presence info at my blog. Nancy - its Asian and African men - not Chinese in particular. Possibly more repressed - i don't really know. Definitely seeking!
  dina

• Graham J Wallace on SkypeMe Eve

  Thanks Dina for your pushing back and establishing some territory.
  I would be most disappointed that the community building power of Skype be threatened by negative actions resulting in women not participating.

  My experience with Skypeme peaked about 3 months ago, whenever I turned on the SMe status I would receive about 2 or 3 responses every couple of hours and the majority were wanting to learn English. Now I can have it on for 4 hours and not receive any requests. I don't think it is my profile that is scaring people off....? It could simply be that there are so many other choices on Skype of who to call.

  Graham J Wallace

• dina mehta on SkypeMe Eve

  Hi Lion, these requests are without any explanation or notes - they just carry the standard Skype message - "Please allow me to see when you're online".

  Good suggestion - will try it out :)

• Lion Kimbro on SkypeMe Eve

  I have tried to put off the 'red-hot-huge' types by a note in my profile that reads : "I'd appreciate it if you sent me a brief message before asking for an authorization, tell me a little bit about you, and your interest in talking to me." Still, on an average day, I get at least 6 requests for authorisation, and several chat messages. I ignore all that do not indicate an interest in some specific area of my work or blog. If they persist more than once, I block them.
  

  
  I'm just curious: About those 6 requests- are they doing what you ask? Are they telling a little about themselves, and their interest in talking with you?
  

  
  It seems like a very up-front culture. Perhaps it would be best to be similarly up-front. If your criteria is in fact that conversation must be about something in your blog or work, then perhaps you should try saying that. (That is, if people respect requests.)
  

  
  If people do not respect requests, then I don't think that there is anything you can do.
  

• continued in the Skype Journal Comment River: 200 fresh comments

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